Because these stories matter, I’d like to share a pretty spectacular manifestation from my boy just a few weeks after he transitioned a year ago. The story is long…but the payoff is lovely.
Several years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with the strangest feeling about my wedding ring. I touched it in the dark and felt spikes where the center diamond should be. Turning on the light, I discovered the diamond was completely gone. Panic! My husband and I searched everywhere we could. But I had been many places the previous day…including a Christmas tree farm! We did all the searching we could, but nothing. Sad.
Fortunately, I had signed a replacement contract with the original jeweler. As long as I had the ring checked and certified with them every six months, the diamond would be replaced if it were ever lost. I had done this faithfully for more than 20 years. The diamond was replaced, which was financially lovely…but, of course, it was not the diamond I had been married with. There was some sadness in that as well.
Fast forward a few years, and the jeweler–an old and substantial one–suddenly went out of business. No one purchased the business, and there were no contacts in which anyone could be reached. It was pretty crazy, and so strange. They just disappeared, utterly and completely. Many people who had jewelry in for repair lost their pieces entirely.
So, life went on….and then, suddenly, my beautiful son passed away. This utter heartbreak I was surprised to discover is known by many–many parents missing their kids. In those early weeks, I was in such pain, of course. Although all my life I had had close contact with those who transitioned–I was born seeing and hearing folks on the other side–aside from one beautiful encounter I could barely see or feel my son.
One day, I tried to still myself and reach out to him. I shared with him how much I needed a sign…a big walloping one that would say to me with complete certainty, “I’m here with you, Mom.”
Later that day, I needed to do some minor rearranging in our laundry room. I moved a bin…and in moving it discovered a dust bunny beneath. I picked up the bunny and felt something hard, like a seed. Curious, I looked at it….my diamond! Literally years later in a room that was regularly cleaned, under a bin that was regularly moved, in a place that was regularly touched, my missing diamond appeared–just like that. Add to this, there is absolutely no way to contact the jeweler to return the replacement diamond and no one to return it to. And so…
Thank you, my sweet boy. Message–and love–received.